What Even IS Mental Health?

What even is mental health, really?

Is it complete happiness? Calm? The ability to keep your houseplants alive?

If mental health were a garden, it might look like my backyard—a lush and ever-evolving masterpiece of bright green grass patches growing hopefully in a dirt racetrack carved out by my wild dingo-doggos.

Mental health isn’t being the perfect and eternally calm Stepford wife who cheerfully cooks, cleans everyone’s messes, and still manages to wear a clean shirt every day.
It’s not being the tenacious dad who confidently solves everyone’s problems while gracefully crushing generations of emotional gaps.
It’s not pasting on a smile after your boss (of three years!) forgets your name for the third time this week.
It’s not always being calm—or having everything figured out.

Sometimes, mental health is laughing while sipping strong tea in the middle of a hurricane.
Mental health is messy, personal, and it doesn’t always follow rules. So let’s take a little wander and explore what mental health really is—beyond checklists and diagnoses.

What Is Mental Health? (And What It’s Not)

“Mental health is the state of mental well-being that enables people to cope with the stresses of life, realize their abilities, learn well and work well, and contribute to their community.”
— World Health Organization, 2022

This is a helpful but narrow, one-size-fits-all lens. It leaves out the messy, emotional parts of the Human Experience.

Times of stress are normal. Times of dysregulation are normal.
Sometimes, you’ll feel as mad as a Hatter—and that’s okay. Cups spill, teacakes tumble, and things get jumbled. That’s just the messy rhythm of being human, not a sign that you are broken.

Mental health is the capacity to experience the full range of human emotions, adapt to life’s changes, and stay connected to your sense of self—even through sadness, stress, or struggle.

It’s not about always feeling good. It’s about moving through life’s seasons with awareness, support, and care.

When Should I Be Concerned?

Mental health exists on a spectrum. Not everything you feel or experience is pathological.
You can feel sadness without having depression. You can feel hurt, anger, or elation without it meaning something is clinically wrong with you.

Sometimes it just means you’re human.

Mental health becomes a clinical concern when you find yourself on an endless tumble—down, down, down the rabbit hole.

Signs it’s time to reach out for professional support:

• Your mental health is straining your relationships—causing them to crumble like a day-old scone.

• Your responsibilities (school, work, self-care) are deteriorating like untended garden beds.

• You’re struggling or unable to complete Activities of Daily Living (ADLs). *(See note below)

• You’re thinking about harming yourself or someone else.

Asking for help doesn’t mean your teacup is broken.
It just means you need a refill.

*ADLs- A List of Everyday Self-Care Essentials

If you are struggling or unable to do these, it is time to reach out to a professional.

 Morning Readiness Rituals
Beginning the day with simple acts—brushing teeth, washing your face, caring for your body—as a way of returning to yourself.

Getting Dressed
Choosing clothes that help you feel prepared, comfortable, and connected to the day ahead.

Eating and Drinking
Nourishing your body with food and water—regular meals are part of staying steady through life’s twists.

Using the Restroom
Responding to your body’s natural needs without rushing or shame—this is part of honoring your biology.

Bathing and Hygiene
Cleansing your body not just to stay healthy, but as a reset—washing away what no longer serves you.

Caring for Your Space
Tidying up in small ways—make the bed, clear a dish, sweep a corner. A tended space often supports a tended mind.

Mindful Movement Through the Trees
Stretching, walking, dancing, or gently moving—motion invites grounding and can shift stagnant energy.

Tending to Tasks and Curiosities
Attending to schoolwork, job responsibilities, or personal projects as best you can, with room for imperfection.

Connecting with Your Creatures
Reaching out to those who matter (furry, feathery, or human)—pet your dingo-doggo or feline friend, text a buddy, talk to a family member, or simply share a moment of presence.

Resting and Recharging
Allowing for winding down and sleep. Rest is not a reward—it’s a rhythm your body deeply needs..

Embracing Emotional Seasons

Mental health is cyclical.

Some seasons, you may feel frantic and muddied, clawing at the dirt to escape the rabbit hole. Other times, you’re drifting gently through the trees with nowhere to be.

Just remember—spring rain softens the earth and awakens the rhythm of renewal.

This is the human experience.

Practices for Defining and Supporting Your Mental Health

Mental health is messy, personal, and it dances to its own rhythm. One-size does not fit all. Here are a few ways to define and support yours:

1. Track Your Rhythms

Use a journal, app, or calendar to track your emotional and physical cycles—mood, sleep, energy, pain, hormones, or relationships.
This helps you recognize your patterns and seasons without judgment, and gives you insight to prepare for what’s next.

2. Build a Support System

Much like trees that intertwine their roots underground, humans thrive in connection.

The Harvard Study of Adult Development—one of the longest-running happiness studies—found that close relationships were the strongest predictor of long-term well-being (even more than wealth, IQ, or genetics).

Support systems help regulate your nervous system during stress.
Science shows that safe, trusted connections reduce cortisol and activate the parasympathetic nervous system—the part that says: I’m safe now. Breathe.

Social support also:

• Reduces the psychological impact of trauma, grief, and adversity

• Increases resilience

• Mirrors your strengths when your self-esteem and self-efficacy fades

• Boosts feel-good neurochemicals like oxytocin and dopamine that reduce anxiety, promote bonding, and improve immune function

So have a mad tea party. Spend time with those you care for.

3. Practice Self-Compassion

Research done by Dr. Kristin Neff, associate professor at the University of Austin Texas, shows that self-compassion is linked to lower anxiety, depression, and stress, and higher life satisfaction and well-being.

Self-compassion has three core components:

• Treating yourself with care (self-kindness)

• Recognizing that suffering is a shared human experience (common humanity)

• Observing one’s experiences without judgement (mindfulness)

How to practice self-compassion

Talk to yourself like you would talk to your friend.

Talking to yourself like you would talk to your friend lessens self-criticism and calms the stress response.

“I’m struggling, but I’m doing my best.”

 Name and normalize your feelings

Name and normalize your feelings. Labeling emotions reduces their intensity and helps release shame.

 “It’s okay that I feel irritated and unheard—I’m human.”

Find safe physical contact and ground to the moment

Physical touch activates the parasympathetic nervous system, creating calming signals of safety. Try curling up to a furry friend, hugging your loved ones, or placing your hand on your heart. Take a slow breath and focus on your senses. Repeat.

Final Thoughts

Emotional wellbeing isn’t a destination—it’s a rhythm you learn, lose, and return to again and again. Your needs are unique. Only you can define and tend to them.

Water your roots.
Tend to them with loving-kindness, patience, and curiosity.

Treat your inner world like a garden—not a battleground.